Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in rocketqueen20's LiveJournal:

Saturday, July 15th, 2006
5:01 pm	Confessions off a teenaged...wait a minute...20 year old drama queen. Well it's a rare gloriously sunny weekend in the V-Dot (take THAT Toronto!) without a cloud in the sky so I am of course: Multiple choice time! a) At the nude beach getting the perfect tan (this time hopefully not burning nipples) b) Hiking through the woods stopping to picnic on top of a semi mountain (this time not forgetting lunch) c) Escaping from the heat and watching Pirates of the Carbbean 2: Dead Man's chest in lovely air conditioned theatre (this time preordering tickets so don't get stuck having to watch the Devil Wears Prada when clearly longing to see sexual tension between Johnny and Kiera. Although Kiera's looking a tad bit anorexic these days for my liking. Johnny probably likes that though, have you seen his ex-model coatrack of a wife? I could pick my teeth with her!) d) Inside in stuffy room writing last paper and studying for last midterm. Answer: D of course. Last paper though! And then only 3 more weeks and I get a wonderful month off to frolick around hometown with 2 best friends and get spoiled by parents. They are supporting me finanically and I am greatful but sometimes I just need a hug more then I do more makeup or movies or something..no one hugs like Dad. I was getting extra help in the lab yesterday and I kind of broke down again and my instructor gave me a much needed hug. It was so nice, I'd definatly drop out if it wasn't for my instructors. Oh I hate peds. I guess I should have known that if you don't like children you probably won't like NURSING children, but I'm not a big baby fan and I liked maternity so I thought maybe the same would be true for peds. Nope. Not true. It isn't much fun having a screaming toddler not understand that the injection will make her better and threatening to sue me and pouring syrup over my head. Sure I smell good but this rats nest won't come out. (Comment on this)
Friday, June 2nd, 2006
9:54 pm	Long Overdue It's been a while........... I'm currently living in a new residence with a dear friend of mine. We are polar opposites, and terrible influences on each other. She may be the outgoing captain of the rep rugby team and built like a washing-machine, and I may be the quiet, wallflower blonde with an odd sense of humour, but get a bottle of rum and a keg and put us in a club and we're practically twins. We're young and stupid, so our outragous flirting and horrible dancing is acceptable, but I am never dancing on stage by myself again and making out with a guy who is clearly a 3/10. For a long term relationship, of course looks don't matter, but if I am to randomly make out with someone, they must be at least a 6. Shallow, thy name is Carey. It's all due to the powers of the sweaterdress....I must stop wearing it out. Repeat after me..."It's not 1987, It's not 1987." Full time classes in the summer, quite honestly, sucks ass. 33 hours of school a week plus the same amount of homework= me still pasty white and have not been outside in weeks. Today, after an 8 hr shift at maternity, I forced myself to walk 20km home, and enjoyed the air. And pracitically died. It's time to wage war against my body again, and diet and excersize like crazy. I love maternity, so much. One problem...my instructor looks like Liv Tyler and is insanely beautiful. I keep expecting her to run off with Alicia Silverstone in the middle of my IM injections, drive around town in a jeep and end up winning the amateur stip competition. (For references, watch the Aerosmith "crazy" video.) It would be excellent if she did this, I could leave the ward then, I'd love an afternoon off. It's truly nursing paradise though. Healthy, happy moms, adorable babies, very few life or death situations. Canada is truly one of the best places to have a baby, expecially BC! Now that we have the first clinic in North America to specialize in mothers who have substance abuse problems, we are the best province to have a compicated birth in. I think that I've found my calling in life. And if not, I have another 45 working years in my life, I'll find something to make me happy. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 2nd, 2006
1:31 am	After councelling the other day, (my first appointment) I had a panic attack in the video store..the first one I've had in 3 years. I'm not sure if councelling can have a reverse effect sometimes...but I just felt like all the cashiers were staring at me and laughing at me even though they were three of the nerdiest people I've ever seen. I started to cry doing my debit transition and ran out of there bawling and hyperventilating..and by that time of course they were staring at me, who wouldn't be! I'm so weird. I thought that I was making a step in the right direction..but it's like I've gone back 3 years. I don't understand this. Also, it took me weeks to call UBC councelling for help and all they did was once session and recommend other services to me, it could take me weeks to get up the courage to try again. I don't want to leave this room, but I have to go to the hospital tomorrow. I wish there was something fundamentally wrong with my childhood to justify why I'm so strange now, but I have loving parents and havn't had a fight with my brother since I was 10..it's just because how I was treated as a kid in school. No big deal I need to GET OVER IT! Fuckfuckfuckfuck mother fucking fuckhole dickstain cockersuckering FUCK! I love to swear, I seem so angelic in person that is shocks people teehee. Maybe some night I'll go to sleep and wake up normal and happy. Maybe that'll only happen if I don't wake up in the morning at all. Current Mood: distressed (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
2:45 pm	Off to get some "happy pills" Had my clinical evaluation yesterday. I tried to calm myself by listening to my heart rate with my stethascope while she read my self evaluation, it was 112, usually it's at 69. We had a 20 minute talk in general but only 30 secs of it was about my hospital work. I am apparently doing fine but I need to be more assertive and sure of myself and spend more time with her rather then with my patients chatting. Then she told me that I was the saddest person that she's ever met and wanted to know why I'm so insecure. I told her almost everything and she recommened that I go see counselling and get on antidepressants right away since she could tell that I have no self esteem and keep self defeating myself and apparently all the other girls are worried about me. Most of it came out...I was really bullied in high school for being ugly even after I lost all of the weight, my skin cleared and my hair somehow morphed into something managable, but no one seemed to notice, I was still their punching bag and almost all the time I forget that I don't look that way anymore, and that everyone is staring at me and laughing. At least I was still the smartest in school...until I got into UBC where only 6% of those who apply to nursing school get in, all who seem to be much brighter than me. Now that I've failed last semester I'm the youngest out of 62 students and the only one without a previous degree...and I didn't tell her that I was questioning my sexuality, just that I feel ugly all the time and can't get a boyfriend (to which I got the usual, but your beautiful blah blah....but I know she meant well.) I didn't know I was so transparent, but it's probably a good thing to get help. So off to get pills I guess and someone to listen to my petty problems. Oh interesting fact! We were having our post conferance (which in this group means all around gossip sesion, oh how I love my instructor) and the gossip someone turned to gay rights, and there are tons of power lesbians in the medical field in Vancouver! The director of my program, the head of the cancer research centre, many professors, it's encouraging. Current Mood: indescribable (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 25th, 2006
12:24 am	Ugh, I'm so very sick. I think it was that doggy sushi place we went to last night...$4 for 20 pieces was suspicious, but my friend swore it was good and safe. Well, I'm missing clinical today and in agony, last time I trust her *shakes fist!* In happier news I have the whole day to read for fun which is fabulous, my friend remembers nothing from the club the other night and does these things for attention all the time so I'm in the clear, and I got into res for the summer AND the fall and my new nursing friend wants to be my roomate! She's so different from me...old to begin with, 32! And was in an abusive arranged marriage...sometimes I feel like the most selfish person in the world, whinning about my problems, when look at what other people face. But I do feel justified in whinning about the food poisening thing...WAH. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 19th, 2006
7:15 pm	And then Superman flew home and made himself a delicious condor egg omlette What is it about me that compells others to tell me all of their secrets? I feel priveledged to hear them, but when they're really personal and scary then it drags me down too...and I have a huge secret of my own to carry already that only one person who knows me knows about, and an even worse one which will always be my own, so it's not like I have a light load to carry myself. I think maybe there's a sign written on my head that I can't see that says "TELL ME ALL YOUR DEEP DARK SECRETS," and then maybe at the bottom of the sign it says "and if you don't have any deep dark secrets, feel free to tell me about that time in grade 9 when you shoplifted a pack of pens and havn't forgiven yourself for it whilst sobbing" (this has actually happend.) In other news (actually this news connects to the formor paragraph) I've made a pretty good friend in nursing! She and I plan to be roomies this summer, and we meet every week for coffee despite our age difference (she is 32 and I am 20) and it feels really good to have someone make an effort to be my friend and say that I'm an awesome person, for whatever reason the other girls in my course havn't seemed to like me very much...although this could be my paranoia talking yet again. My mom just called, I don't envy her at the moment. She finally stopped having to deal my with depression (because I'm pretty damn happy these days) and now my brother is depressed and having to go to conselling, and Dzia Dzia (Grandpa) is going to Cuba with his housekeeper who is 35 years younger then him and talking about these "pills" the doctor has given him which one can only assume are viagra. I giggled at this and don't mind Dzia having his last hurrah, but then I imagined my Dad going away with a girl who is younger then me to Cuba and paying her way and I realized how my mother, who is very proper and prudish, feels. Poor woman, hot flashes every night, a suicidal son and horny father to deal with as well as a daughter who she loves too much and spoils rotten so she won't be able to retire for years. Ahhh mommy! I'll take the best care of her when I have a job. Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: And then we kiss - BRITENY SPEARS (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
9:05 pm	Ah memory lane Well here I am home on the Island and what a RIVETING TIME I'm having here. Thrilling conversations with my cat, arguments with my dad over whether the weather is getting better or not because his week off just happend to be at the same time as my reading break ("that cloud wasn't there before!" "Yes it was dad, and now there's a patch of blue sky over there see!" "I've been here 35 more years then you have I think I know when weather's getting worse, etc, etc." See, RIVETING) I did go for a walk around my old elementary school today and the same janitor has been there for 20 years let me in. Nostagila galore. I wandered the halls, looked at all my old classrooms and the tiny little desks that were still there and I wanted to cry, I don't know why. I wish I could go back but I just have to keep moving forwards, it really sucks. I left a message on my old teacher's desk (she was ancient 10 years ago, how is she still there???) and spelt "formor" wrong. Oh dear. All these 10 year olds are going to laugh at me..... Current Mood: nostalgic (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 9th, 2006
12:16 am	DORK I blew a really big bubble and now there's gum stuck on my glasses. I can't get it off. SIGH. Current Mood: dorky (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
5:24 pm	It's our third week of clinical. I really hope that I'm doing well....I do get carried away chatting to my patients and not offer to help out my nurses if I don't like them, thus I end up doing less work then my overachieving (*COUGH* Brownnosing..oh pardon me I have a terrible cold) classmates, but my patients adore me. Although I find the male LPNs are really helpful and amazing with patients, the female LPNs and all RNs are not exactly in my good book. They have very light workloads since it's a minor surgery ward yet they tend to play video games and cards instead of giving out pain medications, I kid you not. I really like my instructor. She is soft spoken and so intelligent, the type of mentor that I wished I had last semester. I've become superclose to the two oldest students, 28 and 32, we just seem to relate to each other so well, even when they're discussing their ex husbands and current boyfriends and I'm talking about frat parties (yes I am lame but it's free beer and good times) and the joys of nintendo. I am indifferent to the 21 yr old and 24 year old (meaning that if they fell of cliffs and I was there I would try to save them, but if I wasn't there I wouldn't exactly cry if they were gone.) The 25 yr old is a pretensious cow who says "what?" like I'm an idiot whenever I crack a joke to my friends and seems to think she has the body of Florence Nightengale trapped within her. Every encounter is "spiritual," ever sentance uttered from her patient is "insightful." Sweetie, I hate to burst your bubble but sometimes changing an adult diaper isn't a spiritual experience, and your patient isn't telling you anything other then the fact that her laxative worked, Ok? Ps, your drugged up patient managed to roll her eyes at you while you were babbling on about organic produce or something like that when I was helping you move her into bed and we shared an "insightful" giggle when you went to get her a blanket. My best friend's in a play tomorrow and I get to watch! Eeeeeee, excitement! I feel like a proud parent, this is her first one and if she were to freeze up and pass out on stage I'd still cheer and throw roses at her, but I know she'll be the star of the show! Actually she is the star of the show, so I'll enjoy watching her tomorrow very much indeed. Current Mood: relaxed (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
9:30 am	These things are so much fun! 1. Girls arn't supposed to like the way that they look. Except for my freshman 20, I love the way I look and wouldn't change it for the world. Some call it arrogance, but if you don't love yourself, who the hell will? 2. Flattery will get you everywhere. (Also chocolate.) 3. I have 2 consitent dreams: 1) I own a chocolate and other delicious confection factory and usually wake up when jumping into a giant vat of chocolate covered coins 2) I get stabbed in the back and die. I cry more often when waking from dream #1 since it's not real. 4. I'd love to be thin, but I've been together with ribs, chocolate, donuts, popcorn, chips, burgers, pie, cake and ice cream so long that I just couldn't break up with them like that, it's been a 20 year relationship that I'm just not ready to end yet. 5. I should have been a teen in the 80's; the sweater dress, Axl Rose, and origininal nintendo are all key things to my happyness that nobody appreciates in this decade. 6. My cat is the love of my life. We're announcing our engagment anytime now. 7. When I have a crush on someone I act like I hate them. When I hate someone, I act like I hate them. This brilliant strategy has done wonders for my love life. 8. I'm only happy when it rains. 9. My brother is still unaware of our sibling rivalry, yet he's still winning. 10. I really like nursing. I've only recently decided this, but at this moment in time I'm doing really well at it, and it's exciting. I got so excited over seeing a Schneider's drain removed the other day that I looked like a kid at a candy store and was allowed to watch bloody procedures all day as a special treat. 11. I like Briteny Spears, Hanson, the Backstreet Boys and the Spice Girls. I also like Fall Out Boy, the Artic Monkeys, David Bowie, Guns n' Roses, Aerosmith and Green Day, and I'm not a "poser" for liking any of them. Music is music, people who make it into a lifestyle or ridicule others for their taste are stupid, pretensious and annoying. "If your emo and you know if cut your wrists! *clap clap* if your emo and you know it and you really want to show it, if your emo and you know it DYE YOUR HAIR BLACK AND START SMOKING *clap clap.*" (Song non-appicable for REAL goths and/or punks.) 12. My best friend from my home town and I actually became best friends over msn during first year while we were away at different universities, now we have a language that's so confusing to others it's like twinspeak. 13. You can keep your Simpsons, and even your Family Guy. Southpark is prime comedy. 14. Sometimes I think I'm asexual. I havn't had a crush for so long, but I think that I'm more tuned into girls personalities so it would work out better. 15. One time, I pushed my cousin ass first into a glass door, and she got stuck. 16. Mom paid to put me through 8 years of dance class, and it has been concluded that she wasted a lot of money on them. Sorry mom. 17. In grade 8, when we learned about Medieval times, I believed I contracted the Black Plague and cried for 4 hours. Really I just fell asleep on a newspaper though and got this circle sized black mark on my arm. 18. This is so first year, but I enjoy going to frat parties way more than clubbing. All you can drink for 10 bucks, dancing like idiots with your friends and hiding in dorm rooms when the cops come? It's what highschool should have been all about if I hadn't have grown up in CAMPBELL RIVER. 19. Since I idolized my brother growing up, I grew up thinking dungeons and dragons, N64 marathons, Pro wrestling and Dragon Lance books are cool. I still kind of do... 20. Elijah Wood is sexy in Oliver Twist, sexy in Flipper, sexy as a hobbit (expecially in this dream I had when we were married and lived in a hobbit hole...I mean. I must stop mentioning this), hell Elijah Wood is even sexy while eating human flesh in Sin City. RARRRRR! 21. My best friend and I like America's Next Top Models an unhealthy amount. We speak of Tyra in holy tones most people use when speaking of God. Current Mood: devious (Comment on this)
12:32 am	95% on my midterm, which I finished in 15 mins when we had 45! My prof looked so concerned, then she glanced at my answers and beamed at me and gave me a thumbs up while the suck ups at the front glared, hehehe. I don't fit in that well with this crowd, I'm the youngest and the least keen to show off (I'll do my homework on week days but hell no I'm not joining your weekend study group, fridays are for clubbing, saturdays are for shopping and movies and sundays are for disney movies, nintendo and pajamas). I'm halfway through Sin City, I'm not feeling very good today. Must buy drano tomorrow, we've managed to plug the shower yet again, none of us roomates have hair above shoulder length. Off to the Island for a party this weekend, should be good fun, my mom can't tell me that I'm slacking off too much with a grade like this! Why yes I do like to brag, why do you ask (but I'm very self depricating when the occasion calls for it). Current Mood: complacent (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
10:29 pm	Is it just me or is Elijah Wood beautiful? I cannot look away from him in any of his movies, I've had this crush since he was in Flipper. He's even sexy in Sin City in which he kills people, gets their flesh and mounts their heads on his wall. Yes, that's wrong, lets not overanalyze this. Oh God. I'm exhausted. It was a very satisfying day, I got to see some staples being removed, and a Steiner's drain and do a post op assesment (my instructor picked ME! I felt so special, from always being the stupid one last semester to being the one who's doing the best is quite the change.) It's amazing how much better one's perferomance is when no one's breathing down your neck! Some nurses at the hospital are terrible, so I've already picked out the two approachable LPNs and two approachable RNs, the indifferent RN, and the two foreign nurses who HATE student nurses and try to trick us (they really do, Grant, the nice LPN warned me, he's promised to always help me when he can.) I have also befriended the cleaning staff, most people don't realize how important this is. Combs, toothbrushes and pillows are like GOLD in this hosptal, and now I always have first dibs, simply because I'm pleasent. Ha, my instructor always wonders how I do things so quickly, and now I have people to chat with when I'm bored. I do have to get up at 5:30 though, to catch the bus to school usually. Today, since my cousin stayed over she gave me a ride, she was planning to drive to Revelstoke tonight. My God I was worried, yesterday before even coming here she got into an accident, and today she drove down a one way street on the way to the hospital. She just shrugged and said "you should have told me." I CAN'T TELL YOU WHEN I'M SCREAMING AND HIDING MY HEAD IN MY LAP WOMAN, but that should really give you a clue!!! I'll never complain about the transit system again! All and all I'll miss her though, she's totally the opposite of me and so refreshing to be around. She lost her hair due to a disease and doesn't care, is relaxed and easygoing and totally independant. Not at all like me, her older anal retentive, paranoid cousin who gets everything handed to her on a silver platter and is sad if her mom doesn't phone her at least 3 times a week. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm not so relaxed that I don't drive down one way streets, but she emailed me and she made it to our Aunt's house alright tonight, so hopefully she'll make it to Alberta tomorrow..... Oh and I've made a friend in nursing! She wants to be roomates this summer possibly which would be really cool, hopefully she'll want to live on campus though, I'm rather found of rolling out of bed and making it to class in 20 minutes. That was a long blog. Current Mood: dorky Current Music: (Don't laugh!) Backstreet Boys...hehe (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 30th, 2006
4:33 pm	I AM THE SUBJECT My cousin's spending the night tonight. Like me, she's from the Island (Vancouver Island,) and now she's on her way to Alberta because she wants a change, (that's where we Islanders run away to when we get sick of the Goddamn Island. Actually that's where the whole country runs away to, it's the only really profitable province we have), and is stoping over to see me because depending on how long she stays, I might not see her again for a while. The relationship we have is quite....interesting. When I'm home on the Island we live about 3 hrs away from each other and tend to visit for a couple of weeks at a time in the summer and christmas, and for about 4 days we are the best of friends. Then on the 5th day, we snap. "I hate you! I hope you die!" and then we get into massive fights which never works out well for me, since she outweighs me by 100 pounds. Oh except one time she punched me, lost her balance and fell ass first into Grandpa's french doors and got stuck. That was an excellent day, I was pissed enough to leave her there. I'm not like this with anyone else, it's really funny the way we are with the people we love the most. Current Mood: chipper (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 29th, 2006
6:55 pm	I tried to put in a picture, to see if it works. I don't think it worked though, SIGH. So about 10 others also got confused about when the test was due, hopefully Helga will take pity on us and repost the quiz (poor woman, imagine being named Helga? Oh, the humanity.) But who makes a quiz due on a saturday night, WHO? Nothing much going on today, it's my research day and I do love procrastinating. My instructor said not to wear jeans to the hospital while doing our research, and I gracefully fell into a giant mud puddle in my black pants, so I had to put on my long prarie skirt and peasent blouse to go to the hospital in, and got cat calls from the nurses. They told me that I looked very beautiful, but it's stupid to wear a skirt in this weather (it's a monsoon outside, it's too much even for Vancouver) and that they wouldn't tell if I wore jeans. They're really nice, I'm surprised since Esther said that they were catty and horrible and to let her know right away if they were too hard to work with, but so far I like them so much better then the nurses at last semester's hospital, I have a good feeling about this rotation. Only one complaint from the Scottish roomate today. "Canadian bacon is too fatty," did you hear that pigs? You'd better shape up, her magesty is displeased with your byproducts! (Actually, North Americans call the kind of bacon she's looking for "Canadian bacon," and it's very popular in Canada, but I'm not telling her that =P.) Current Mood: okay (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:45 am	FUCK FUCK FUCK (not in a good way either) FUCK! So my quiz said "due January 29th at midnight" and I said "hooray, it's due sunday night, I can do it sunday morning." January 29th is saturday night. I'm already on academic probation, I've missed this quiz. I've sent a pleading email but you know what? I don't think I deserve another chance. I fucked up last semester and now I've gone and fucked up this one too, I am a waste of space in this program. I wish I could curl up and die, I'd give 5 years of my life to turn back time by 2 hrs, and I'm not merely being dramatic, if I would, I could. So, if she doesn't let me do it anyways, what shall I go into? Maybe I could take the LPN program, but they, sadly, don't get much respect. Teaching I guess. Bloody hell, I hate children. I'll just have to tell my parents that I decided that I hate nursing "oh sorry for wasting $45 0000 that you could have used for a slighly earlier retirement but you know I just suddenly hate nursing. Ahahaha, isn't that funny?" Or whore myself on East Hastings. (East Hastings is the poorest section of Canada and is located in 8 blocks in the Downtown East Side of Vancouver. You will be walking down a normal part of town and all of a sudden, it's like an invisable boundary exsists, you enter a part of town where there's crack dealers not bothering to be conspicuous in front of every closed down building and a pimp slapping his hoe and yelling "where's my money bitch" in plain sight, not to mention men and women passed out in their own vomit all over the sidewalk. I hate the provincial government for closing down our mental institutions, these "druggies" that society ignores mostly have mental impairments and the only place they are accepted is on the streets, the only job they're qualified to do is whore themselves, steal or deal.) Kidding about the whoring myself thing, but really not about the self loathing. I'm an idiot, there I go again messing up my second chance. Current Mood: crushed (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 26th, 2006
8:11 pm	Bitch Session...Sorry but it must be done or I will explode I love most of my roomates, really I do. N is a complete engineering dork addicted to the life network, E is my gorgeous actoress-in-the-making best friend, K is the coolest engineer you will ever meet, from India, rich yet covered fully by scholerships because she is so bloody smart and yet still pretty, C can't speak english very well but is so adorable and asked me once "how big is your head" because she didn't know how to say "how tall are you?" Then there is my Scottish roomate. She came off being the sweetest one, and always asks about your day, always has something to talk about. But she's like antifreeze if you're a cat, incredibly sweet to start with but then it causes you to puke out your intestines (ok so sue me I'm not good at similes, I'm a SCIENCE student.) She hates Canadians. She thinks we're ridiculous and mocks every word that comes out of our mouths. Ok, I realize that our sense of style is inferior to the Brits, we are laid back and think that sweat pants are socially acceptable, but do you have to make fun of my jogging outfit? I'm not going to prom, hell I'm not even going to McDonalds woman, I am running through MUD. Also every word that I say is ridiculed, and everything I say or do is followed with a "oh that's so Canadian of you." She came into my room to use my computer today, I had lit a scented candle and the first words out of her mouth were "your room smells so Canadian." WTF? Candle. There were no moose or mounties or maple sugar in sight, the candle scent was "jasmine" not "THE GREAT WHITE NORTH." She eats chips for dinner really often (meaning "crisps" not french fries") yet I can't go into the kitchen for my thrice a week treat without her smirking at me and saying "you Canadians are so unhealthy." What else? Oh yes, there are no hot Canadian boys. Canadians are poor dressers and overweight and of course "there's no where to SHOP in Canada." Excuse me miss, there are plenty of places to shop if you want to be unique like me and like vintage clothing, we have lots of skater stores and we even have that place that you blew $800 on make up in last week, so don't tell me you have no where to spend your money. The worst thing is correcting my pronounciation. Sometimes I honestly don't know what a "fanny" or a "toastie" is but she is VERY offended if I ask. So, to get her revenge, she constantly mocks everything I say. I was standing in front of the mirror and looking at myself and she pointed and said "what's that?" "My reflection," I'm no idiot, I knew where this was going. "No what are you looking into. What is the name of that object?" ".......a mirror....." "AHAHAHA," she laughed, "MIR, she said MIR, you Canadians can't speak properly." Oh your so funny, there's that famous British wit I keep hearing all about. Sorry. I think British accents are sexy, or I used to, but now whenever I hear her shrill voice I cringe. I know not all Bristish people are like this and I desperatly want to live in the UK for at least a year, but I wish we could make "annoying" as dispicable a trait in immigrants or exchange students as "TB" or "Sars" and deport her. Current Mood: bitchy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
11:00 pm	5 of my Weird Habbits This shouldn't be hard at all. In fact, I could make a 100 of my weird habbits page but not even I, laziest of the lazy have tht time to do that. I have movies to watch and gossip sessions with roomates to attend to (I often feel gulity having parents who will pay my way through university...I clearly don't deserve this since I'm a lazy ass. At least I know my own faults?) Five of my weird habits: 1) Reading magazines backwards. I cannot go forwards and feel the stares of many confused people on the bus and when catching the ferry as they watch me compulsively flip backwards then have to backtrack in order to read articles properly. 2) I sleep in a sleeping bag on top of my gorgeous fluffy duvet so that I don't have to make my bed in the morning. 3)Everyone talks to themselves, but I do it so often that I look like a crazy (yet hygienic) bag woman. My (equally crazy) mother also forces me to talk to the cat over the phone. 4) Everytime a car drives by I picture myself being shot in a drive by shooting. Yes, everytime as long as I'm not distracted, but I hide it very well. 5) I remember jokes at the most inappropriate times and constantly laugh to myself to the point of snorting when there's clearly no joke to be had. Again, see crazy bag woman. In other news... AEROSMITH IS COMING TO VAN AND I'M GOING LALALALALALALALA EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! In other other news...I think that I'll out myself to someone for the first time next weekend. I'm so scared, but she's bi so I know she'll understand....Oh God. Oh God. Is it wrong to cry and wish I was normal, I've really only admitted that I'm not straight in the last month or so...before that I was convinced I was a prude which is okay. I'm catholic, we are supposed to be prudish. I can't keep my religion and be gay though, I hate having to choose between religion and happyness so this will take me a while. I'm so slow on the uptake, arn't most people supposed to figure this all out in their teenage years? ARRRRGH! Current Mood: blank (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
5:09 pm	Procrastinating before the gym. Blah. HA! I kicked ass shopping today (shopping is the only sport I'm good at other than swimming. I'm par at mini golf but I havn't been back since I accident hit the ball into a bald man's head at BlackCreek. I said FOUR, I still think it's partly his fault that he didn't duck.) I have sooo much adernaline, should help at the gym. I got a hiking back pack that came with a water bottle and this irresistable posh little purple purse that the woman gave to me for $20 when they were supposed to be $40 together (which STILL would have been a bargin), I love it when people are nice for no apparent reason. I gave the $20 to this homeless man who looked at me like I was nuts and opened his eyes even further when I said "have a nice day." It makes me sad that people are so quick to question random acts of kindness. I also got my roomie a little birthday present. Her birthday last night was so much fun, there were about 20 of us at The Eatery, this really funky sushi place, and we all just watched her, a 90 pound little thing, do shots until she was pissed. Apparently I am "the bessshhht roomate ever" and she loves me "this much-" she spread her arms and promptly fell over. Very enjoyable indeed. Well I start at hospital tomorrow, I'm so excited! Finally I get to go to a surgery ward! I am just bursting with exclaimation marks! Time for the gym. Ugggh. Putting on all this weight was far more enjoyable then taking it off is, go figure. Current Mood: complacent Current Music: Walking With the Ghost- Teegan and Sarah (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 21st, 2006
1:19 am	Hottest Threesome Ever! Why did my roomate/best friend and I eat a tub of Ben and Jerry? Hottest threesome I've ever had, (lol and only intimate time I'll spend with 2 men,) but I was a little upset and anxious so I ate away and painted my toenails and watched Sex in the City and giggled. Now my roomie is gorgeous and will bear no ill effects from our binge session but I on the other hand NEED TO LOSE THE FRESHMAN 20! Yes, I am an overachiever, I gained an extra 5 during my first year of university. I'm still not huge but I was so embaressed in class today when I was being the patient and my prof bared my untoned stomach to demonstrate head to toe assesment for 2 hours. I just wanted to say "why didn't you check me 2 years ago? I was really hot, really guys, want to see a picture? See? Look I had a six pack, I didn't always bear a kegger!" 145 isn't huge, but I need to get back to at least 135 to feel attractive again. I start clinical on monday and am I little nervous. It's at an immigrant hosptial, mainly for Chinese immigrants, and I'm so white I'm practically translucant...Needless to say I am not compentant in mandarin or cantonese or both like so many of my classmates. Oh, I should mention that I failed my clinical last semester, mostly because my instructor scared the hell out of me and I kept messing up in front of her. She decided she didn't like me on my second day of clinical...and I felt that and paniced when every she was near. And then she had the audacity to HUG me after she failed me. Excuse me woman, DON'T YOU TOUCH ME! RARRRRR! I can't screw up this time. I won't. I won't survive it. And damn it I'm starting a diet. Current Mood: distressed Current Music: Brown Eyed Girl (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 19th, 2006
11:18 pm	Intro This journal isn't for my friends or my family, because, although I love them, I can't be completely honest with them. This is a journey I'm taking to find out who I really am (DRAMATIC POSE....DRAMATIC MUSIC...DRAMATIC EMMA WATSONLIKE EYEBROW RAISE) because I'm...unsatisfied with things that seem to satisfy my friends...I'm a very intelligent, fairy attractive (in a doll-like, very pale Aryan way) and have had very goodlooking, moderatly intelligent guys ask me out, but it fizzeled and I think it was mainly my fault. I rarely feel sparks these days...and am just as attractive to women as I am to men although it's not very often. Perhaps I am asexual like a plant...possibly a cactus? Cacti need love too...AHEM, oh dear. Maybe this will become a diary that no one will read. Must run, I have a sudden urge to water my catus (ewww, no. I actually have a catus because I figure that I won't kill it that was not a masturbation metaphore. Dear God, I'd better make this diary only!) Current Mood: confused Current Music: Sugar We're Going Down (Comment on this)